Of shotguns & Swiffers

There is no substitute for a good shotgun mic. That said, I could neither afford a really good shotgun mic, nor did I want to pack around the equivalent of a walking stick. It contradicted the whole notion of minimalist gear.

My first thought was to find the smallest shotgun mic on the market. What I found was the Japanese TECT UEM-88, touted as the "world's smallest ultra-powerful shotgun mic system." Attributes of this "high quality miniature electret condenser microphone" included a 50dB acoustic gain and a 200-15 KHz frequency response, all powered by one standard AAA battery. The whole thing measured nine inches long. Unfortunately, it retailed at well over $100 on the Internet, and I could find no reviews on this bit of audio hardware to justify that sort of investment. Like anyone else on a budget I checked Ebay and found one available at the opening bid of 99 cents with no reserve limit. Imagine my astonishment several days later to discover that no one else placed a bid! I got the amazing micro shotgun mic for less than $12, including shipping, but that was the good news.

To make a long blind alley short, the little shotgun mic simply couldn't produce quality audio recording. The range-tuning device was difficult to operate and imprecise, at best, and any audio I could record came through a curtain of white noise.

In lieu of using a good shotgun mic, the only alternative was to get a microphone as close to the audio source as convenient. I had to find a way to extend the reach of the little microphone I was using with the Olympus recorder – something better than holding the mic out at arm's length.

Okay, I share house cleaning duties with my wife. She vacuums. I dust. I found myself extending the Swiffer duster handle to reach places a shorter-than-average man can't normally reach, and the solution came to me.

I removed the duster pad, trimmed off the long pad prongs and scraped off the "Swiffer" label (I mean, why invite wisecracks in the field, right?).

The two pieces came apart to fit nicely in my camera bag. Reassembled, with the lavaliere clamped to the end of the primary handle (reinforced with a rubber band), I could extend the reach of the little mic to more than four feet. Using the modified Swiffer handle alone gave me the equivalent of a handheld mic that could be folded and tucked into the front pocket of my pants when not in use, the extender stashed in a hip pocket.

Once I had weathered the derisive laughter of reporters at the newspaper office over such a humble improvisation, I felt compelled to try out the new audio accessories on my first attempt at a full-blown audio-driven slide show production: the 17th Annual Sidewalk Chalk Art Festival.