Coping with a crisis in confidence

A hiatus has been necessary in order to regroup after a series of discouragements over project setbacks and distractions from the original purpose of my blog. The original idea was to teach myself how to produce good audio-driven slideshows about community life in my area. I got off to a good start by learning first how to produce a decent audio story ("Hillsboro School of Rock"), then by learning how to produce a fully-developed slideshow ("Chalk"). I kept good notes on both projects in the blog, but then I got distracted first by trying to stimulate discussion on the journalistic protocol involved in audio editing, then by soliciting exchange of views on entries in the NPPA Monthly Multimedia Contest. While these are both worthy blog projects in themselves, the silence was numbing.

Add the fact that I couldn't seem to produce another slideshow for more than two months, and the result amounted to a crisis in confidence over the whole endeavor. Of the two, the project setbacks have been most frustrating.

Hooked on Flies – Something as simple as a loose cable connection completely unnerved me during the initial interview of a man who spends most of his spare (indoor) time tying his own fishing flies –hundreds of them. The sound check revealed a steady hum in the recording, and I could not figure out the source. I tried disconnecting and reconnecting the microphone cable several times without results. We tried shutting down his computer, his wife’s computer, his son’s electric guitar and even their refrigerator, all without effect on the hum. I wound up recording an unusable, buzzy interview just to gather background information, but the technical snafu so thoroughly demoralized me that I couldn’t bring myself to reschedule another interview. It wasn’t until I did the sound check on my next production project that I realized the microphone-to-recorder cable connects at both the recorder AND the microphone. The hum was coming from a loose connection at the microphone end, not from the recorder end.

Dinner for 9,000 – One of our area communities has hosted an annual sausage and sauerkraut dinner for nearly 50 years. I made the mistake of trying to cover this one-day event on the same day I had to shoot no less than seven assignments for the newspaper. I just don’t have that sort of stamina any more. Besides, I had already missed a significant part of the story, the preparations for that dinner. Instead, I wound up simply hanging out for a couple of hours to practice working left-handed with the little camera while operating the ‘shotgun’ equipped recorder with my right hand. That was fun. In the end, I came up with a plan to cover their 49th dinner this coming fall in a two-part project. Part one would document the preparation leading up to the big day. Part two would portray how the entire community turns out to orchestrate the dinner, from the youngest school kids to the oldest seniors. The two slideshows could then be used to promote their 50th dinner the following year.

Expectant Fathers – A class for new fathers at the local hospital seemed like a good, straightforward subject. I cleared the hurdles of gaining permission for an audio-slideshow production from the hospital and the instructor, but decided at the last minute that I had a personal reason for not following through with the coverage. My own son-in-law was enrolled in the class. My presence as an observer would affect his participation. All I could do was interview the instructor and wait for the next time the course was scheduled. During the interview I realized that the course was entirely classroom-based, which would make dull visuals. Unless I could come up with a storyline to pursue outside of class, the production had little prospect of engaging viewers visually. I shelved it and moved on to the next project.

Dual Language Program – My own expectant daughter proposed the next project: a new dual language program started at the kindergarten level in the school where she teaches. This is now the second school in our district to develop what is also called two-way language immersion education. Half the day in the classroom is spent teaching in English and the other half is spent entirely in Spanish. I plunged into this project, interviewing two people at the administrative level for a narrative frame along with multiple visits to both schools for both the English and Spanish sessions. I managed to develop the narrative frame in short order but bogged down trying to sort through all the classroom material. I couldn’t seem to get organized even on the English sessions, never mind that my knowledge of Spanish is minimal. When a software glitch wiped out what little progress I had made on the production audio track, I hit the wall and shut down for the holiday season.

I am now refocusing the blog, developing a strict workflow for production, and establishing a disciplined work schedule.

The blog will be limited to accounting for my own production efforts, the production workflow will start with step procedures for processing audio and developing the audio story first, and the production schedule will consist of five to six two-hour sessions per week on mornings before leaving for the office. I’ll devote Sunday mornings to the blog.

If I can’t develop a reasonable amount of discipline and consistency, and still enjoy the challenge of learning new skills, then I’ll have to give up on multimedia and let the profession leave me behind along with my newspaper.

It’s that simple.

The worst part of being your own producer is being responsible for your own productivity. The second worst part is having to recognize and solve your own problems.